Self-Confidence Can Change Your Life
By Alan B. Densky, CH
is the ability to believe in oneself and one's strengths and capabilities. It is
a component of positive self-esteem, and necessary for success. Many people who
develop a social phobia or fail to learn how to gain self confidence find it
difficult to achieve success. The absence of self-confidence can be destructive
to a person's success. Negative self-perception can prevent one from taking
control over the past and making actual progress toward controlling one's own
comparison, self-confident people believe in themselves and their abilities to
accomplish their goals. They are focused on success, willing to learn from
mistakes made in the past and to grow from what they learn. Such
people have learned that failing does not make them failures. Rather, they
simply analyze the cause of failure and avoid falling into the same traps.
Self-confident people are aware of, anticipate possible obstacles to their
goals, and address these obstacles with the surety that they are able to
overcome these potential difficulties.
factors cause an individual's
low level of confidence. Often, people allow fear to become an obstacle,
preventing them from achieving success in a certain area. At times, some
individuals are hindered by real or imagined guilt over past mistakes.
Sometimes, a social phobia can hamper a person's self-confidence.
source of decreased
self-confidence is unrealistic expectations. Perhaps an individual desires
to accomplish something in a given time period. That goal may or may not be
realistic. Moreover, succeeding at a task may sometimes take longer than
initially planned. Requiring more time to complete a task, or having to overcome
additional obstacles to realize one's desires is not an indication of failure,
although it may sometimes be perceived as such.
people who do not know how to gain
self confidence seek treatment to boost self confidence. Often, they turn to
counselors to help them build self confidence and resolve these issues. Many
counseling theories focus on building self confidence. For example, cognitive
behavioral theory instructs people to increase their level of confidence by
creating goals for
improving self confidence, such as standing up straight.
Alternatively, they measure an individual's successes by the
accomplishment of smaller and then larger goals. Focusing on these tasks does
help clients develop behaviors associated with self-confidence; however, it does
not change their self-perceptions or help them resolve the issues that caused
them to have a bad self-image.
Talking to one's self in positive terms is also a
way of increasing self confidence. The
"self-fulfilling prophecy" is a common theme of psychology classes.
This concept argues that people are most likely to achieve what they believe
themselves capable of achieving. Therefore, if people perceive themselves
capable of failure or low achievement, this is exactly what they will do. In
contrast, if people see themselves as high achievers capable of success, they
will achieve their goals. Professionals who practice positive self-talk focus on
helping individuals build self confidence, and assist them to view themselves as
successful persons capable of pursuing their dreams effectively.
is another treatment for building self-confidence. Through confidence hypnosis,
individuals can reach a meditative state alone or with a therapist present. They
listen to positive post-hypnotic suggestions that program them to feel more confident
by offering powerful suggestions for confidence building behaviors. Confidence hypnosis is very effective
for people who are not analytical or critical thinkers. For those who are,
however, this method of improving self confidence is much less effective.
newer alternative treatment used to increase confidence is NLP which stands for Neuro-Linguistic
Programming. This revolutionary treatment can actually use a person's ideas that
have contributed to a person's low level of self-confidence to trigger ideas that
techniques can allow an individual to relate past memories of success to the
present. Through the technique of anchoring, individuals can learn to find
memories of positive self confidence in the past, and anchor those moments by
touching their fingers together while reliving those feelings. When that person
needs to gain self confidence again, he or she simply touches those two fingers
together to draw upon the strength of past experiences to believe in and
anticipate the success of the present endeavor.
is uniquely simple and yet incredibly effective. Unlike other therapies, it does
not require painful probing into past problems or lengthy counseling sessions to
become effective. NLP alone is effective for nearly every person who uses it
properly. A high percentage of people who have used Neuro-Linguistic Programming
a great deal of self confidence
shortly after beginning the treatment.
Low self-confidence is a barrier to success that many people must overcome to
pursue their dreams effectively. Many therapies exist to
increase a person's self confidence. In my experience, the most effective treatment is
NLP, which allows one to relate memories of past
success to present feelings of self-confidence.
©2007 By Alan B. Densky, CH.
This document may NOT be re-printed. All